Now don't misunderstand me; I am not saying that kids don't deserve consequences and discipline for bad behavior. But, I can certainly see how rewarding good behavior would send the right message. B.F. Skinner would agree, I'm sure! Anyhow, I digress. I simply wanted to say that there are as many correct ways to parent as there are children and that we are trying something different and I wanted to share what I am doing with you, in the event you might find any tidbit helpful. Also, I wanted to note that my son is a seventh grader so if you choose to use any of my ideas, you'll know they were tailored for a 12 year old.
We chose to start small rather than take on everything at once so we will be focusing on 3 positive behaviors for now. For the time being, the 3 behaviors are:
- School attendance
- Homework
- Chores
Our 3 behaviors can and probably should change as he gets a good grasp on what is expected of him and masters the behavior. But for quite some time, we will be working on these. My son has a behavior chart that lists each behavior and the day of the week:
On the page following this chart are both the description of each behavior goal and an explanation of the reward system I am implementing. I feel the description of each goal is an important part of the reward system and that it needs to be in writing and posted so that my son knows exactly what is expected of him and what each behavior entails. For our current 3 behaviors, these are the explanations:
Description of Behavior
Goals:
1.School attendance: Make it to school every day on time
and be on time to each class
Ø
Note: Absences will happen and you might be sick but
you only get a green check if you went to school all day
Ø
There is 1 exception: If Mom pulls you out of school
early for a doctor’s appointment, you can still earn a green check if you were
on time to school and each class before you left
2.Homework: Do every homework assignment and hand in on
time; work on homework as soon as you get home from school each day you have
homework
3.Chores: After homework is completed, complete chores
from daily, weekly, and monthly chore charts
Rewards for Nick’s Good
Behavior:
Ø
Ultimate Awesome Week!!! = 21 green checkmarks
Ø
Possible rewards for an ultimate awesome week
o Mom or Bill makes dinner
of your choice
o Mom does 3 of your chores
3 days the following week
o Help Mom make a special
dessert to celebrate your awesome week (brownies, cookies, etc.)
o Trip to candy store for
candy of your choice under $5
o Work on craft of your
choice with Mom
o Stay up until 10:30 one
night the following week
o Mom will play 2 board
games of your choice with you
o Sleepover at Grandma’s
house
o Mom will buy you a candy
bar of your choosing
o Go to Dairy Queen for ice
cream
Ø
A Good Week = 17-20 green checkmarks
Ø
Possible rewards for a good week
o Watch a movie/program of
your choice after homework and chores (On demand, DVD, etc.)
o Mom will do 1 chore for
you next week
o A drink from Starbucks
o Mom will play 1 board
game of your choice with you
Ø
A Decent Week = 13-16 green checkmarks
Ø
Possible rewards for a decent week
o Make hot chocolate with marshmallows
with Mom
o 30 extra minutes of
computer time
o A soda of your choosing
Ø
0-12 green checkmarks
Ø
Sorry you didn’t have such a great week this week but
no worries; next week is a fresh start and just work on doing your best and
being the best Nick you can be!
Ø
2 Ultimate Awesome Weeks in a row
Ø
Possible rewards
o Trip to library to check
out books of your choosing
o Go on a long walk with
Mom (During warm weather)
o Have a friend over for
dinner
o Skip all chores for 1 day
next week
o Go to a park with the
family (During warm weather)
Ø
3 Ultimate Awesome Weeks in a row
Ø
Possible rewards
o Trip to Half Price Books
for 1 book of your choosing under $20
o Game night with the
family – Mom, Bill, etc. will play several games with you, e.g.: cards,
Monopoly, etc.
o Skip all chores for 2
days next week
o Special day out – e.g.: a
museum, Sky Zone,
Great Times (an Indianapolis establishment similar to Chuck E. Cheese), etc. (Provided we can afford it that week)
Ø
4 Ultimate Awesome Weeks in a row
Ø
Possible rewards
o A Lego set $30 or less
v When you have 2 or more
Ultimate Awesome Weeks in a row, you not only earn the reward for having a
single Ultimate Awesome week, but rewards continue to build. For example: The first week you have an
Ultimate Awesome Week, you earn a trip to Dairy Queen. The second week you have an Ultimate Awesome
Week and then you choose to have a sleepover at Grandma’s house for your weekly
prize but you also get to skip all of your chores for 1 day the following week
(a reward for 2 Ultimate Awesome Weeks).
The third consecutive week you have an Ultimate Awesome Week so you earn
your weekly reward like a candy bar of your choosing plus your 3 week reward
like a trip to Great Times!!!
So this is what we are doing in order to encourage the type of behavior I'd like to see out of my 12 year old. We haven't had much experience using this system yet, but I will report back on how well it works! Thanks for letting me share!
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