Positive Discipline: Reward System for My Son

I'd like to preface this post by saying that I am no kind of child expert and that I am merely a mom, sharing my idea with you for rewarding my son for positive behavior.  It was suggested to me that rather than focus on the negative behaviors I don't want my son to do and doling out consequences for those, I place more emphasis on the behavior I do want him to do and reward that behavior.

Now don't misunderstand me; I am not saying that kids don't deserve consequences and discipline for bad behavior.  But, I can certainly see how rewarding good behavior would send the right message.  B.F. Skinner would agree, I'm sure!  Anyhow, I digress.  I simply wanted to say that there are as many correct ways to parent as there are children and that we are trying something different and I wanted to share what I am doing with you, in the event you might find any tidbit helpful.  Also, I wanted to note that my son is a seventh grader so if you choose to use any of my ideas, you'll know they were tailored for a 12 year old.

We chose to start small rather than take on everything at once so we will be focusing on 3 positive behaviors for now.  For the time being, the 3 behaviors are:

• School attendance
• Homework
• Chores

Our 3 behaviors can and probably should change as he gets a good grasp on what is expected of him and masters the behavior.  But for quite some time, we will be working on these.  My son has a behavior chart that lists each behavior and the day of the week:



On the page following this chart are both the description of each behavior goal and an explanation of the reward system I am implementing.  I feel the description of each goal is an important part of the reward system and that it needs to be in writing and posted so that my son knows exactly what is expected of him and what each behavior entails.  For our current 3 behaviors, these are the explanations:

 







Description of Behavior Goals:

 

1.School attendance: Make it to school every day on time and be on time to each class

Ø Note: Absences will happen and you might be sick but you only get a green check if you went to school all day

Ø There is 1 exception: If Mom pulls you out of school early for a doctor’s appointment, you can still earn a green check if you were on time to school and each class before you left

2.Homework: Do every homework assignment and hand in on time; work on homework as soon as you get home from school each day you have homework

3.Chores: After homework is completed, complete chores from daily, weekly, and monthly chore charts

 

I scoured the internet looking for reward ideas and also came up with quite a few on my own based on what my son likes.  Feel free to use any of the following reward ideas or tailor some for your child based on what they like to do.  Also, it's my opinion that the best rewards don't cost anything but consist of time spent with your child.  For example, playing a board game together.  That said, I did include some rewards that would cost money as well.  My son has been made aware that he can choose these rewards provided that we can afford them at that time.  Here are the reward ideas:

 

Rewards for Nick’s Good Behavior:

Ø Ultimate Awesome Week!!! = 21 green checkmarks 

Ø Possible rewards for an ultimate awesome week  

o  Mom or Bill makes dinner of your choice

o  Mom does 3 of your chores 3 days the following week

o  Help Mom make a special dessert to celebrate your awesome week (brownies, cookies, etc.)

o  Trip to candy store for candy of your choice under $5

o  Work on craft of your choice with Mom

o  Stay up until 10:30 one night the following week

o  Mom will play 2 board games of your choice with you

o  Sleepover at Grandma’s house

o  Mom will buy you a candy bar of your choosing

o  Go to Dairy Queen for ice cream

 

Ø A Good Week = 17-20 green checkmarks

Ø Possible rewards for a good week

o  Watch a movie/program of your choice after homework and chores (On demand, DVD, etc.)

o  Mom will do 1 chore for you next week

o  A drink from Starbucks

o  Mom will play 1 board game of your choice with you

 

Ø A Decent Week = 13-16 green checkmarks

Ø Possible rewards for a decent week

o  Make hot chocolate with marshmallows with Mom

o  30 extra minutes of computer time

o  A soda of your choosing

 

Ø 0-12 green checkmarks

Ø Sorry you didn’t have such a great week this week but no worries; next week is a fresh start and just work on doing your best and being the best Nick you can be!

 

Ø 2 Ultimate Awesome Weeks in a row

Ø Possible rewards

o  Trip to library to check out books of your choosing

o  Go on a long walk with Mom (During warm weather)

o  Have a friend over for dinner

o  Skip all chores for 1 day next week

o  Go to a park with the family (During warm weather)

 

Ø 3 Ultimate Awesome Weeks in a row

Ø Possible rewards

o  Trip to Half Price Books for 1 book of your choosing under $20

o  Game night with the family – Mom, Bill, etc. will play several games with you, e.g.: cards, Monopoly, etc.

o  Skip all chores for 2 days next week

o  Special day out – e.g.: a museum, Sky Zone, Great Times (an Indianapolis establishment similar to Chuck E. Cheese), etc. (Provided we can afford it that week)

 

Ø 4 Ultimate Awesome Weeks in a row

Ø Possible rewards

o  A Lego set $30 or less

I also included a note with the reward system that explains how getting consecutive multiple Ultimate Awesome Weeks will work:

 

 

 

 

v When you have 2 or more Ultimate Awesome Weeks in a row, you not only earn the reward for having a single Ultimate Awesome week, but rewards continue to build.  For example: The first week you have an Ultimate Awesome Week, you earn a trip to Dairy Queen.  The second week you have an Ultimate Awesome Week and then you choose to have a sleepover at Grandma’s house for your weekly prize but you also get to skip all of your chores for 1 day the following week (a reward for 2 Ultimate Awesome Weeks).  The third consecutive week you have an Ultimate Awesome Week so you earn your weekly reward like a candy bar of your choosing plus your 3 week reward like a trip to Great Times!!!

 

So this is what we are doing in order to encourage the type of behavior I'd like to see out of my 12 year old. We haven't had much experience using this system yet, but I will report back on how well it works! Thanks for letting me share!

 

 



My "Master Project List" and a Colorful Free Printable

So, if you are anything like me, you like to take on a lot of projects but don't always finish one thing before starting another.  I'm probably one of the worst offenders when it comes to this!  Part of the problem is that I really get into so many different things and find so many things interesting and fun to do and so at any given time, I could be working on 10-15 different projects, sometimes more!  No joke!  

Having this many projects unfinished in addition to my normal responsibilities could be daunting, but I have a system that seems to work for me and I wanted to share with you!  If you too find yourself starting to crochet that scarf as a gift for your cousin before you've finished your vacation scrapbook, you might be able to benefit from keeping a Master Project List.

Here's a glimpse at my List.  I list the name of the project (duh), what supplies I'll need, websites pertaining to the project and/or inspiration for the project, and then have a section for notes.  In the notes section, I jot down whatever doesn't fit in the other three columns and also number my projects to keep a running tally of how many things I'm tackling at the time.  

So what's on my Master Project List?  A lot! I put all my crafty projects, organization projects, and even more on the master list.  This is my home for everything I spend my time on.  Currently, I have these things on the list:

• Scrapbooking projects
• Crochet projects
• Organization projects
• Couponing
• Blogging
• Smash books & journaling projects
• Every mini-project related to creating the command center (See this post for more info)
• Sewing projects
• Jewelry repair and jewelry-making projects
• Cross-stitch
• Holiday gifts & crafts
• Even credit repair!  (I'm building our credit back up and doing the research on Fair Credit Reporting, etc.  Side note: creditboards.com is an excellent resource for this!)

Basically, if it takes up any of my time and isn't part of my daily routine/responsibilities, it goes on the Master List.  One of the neat things about keeping the list in addition to staying organized and on top of everything, is getting to check things off of the list!  It's pretty cool to see all of the things I've taken on and how many I've been able to check off!

So now that you've seen a peek of my list, why not print your own.  I was in a really good mood when I made this printable which explains why it's so colorful!  Here's the clicky:

Here's the uber-colorful printable version of my Master Project List!

Have fun, get organized, and get to checking things off the list!  I'd love for you to share with me.  What types of things are on your Master Project List?

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Wedding Card and a Printable

I recently attended a friend's wedding and decided to make a card for the happy couple instead of buying one.  I'm actually trying to be more crafty as well as trying to save money.  Because I already had the card-making supplies, the card cost me zilch!  I have been pinning handmade greeting cards for inspiration on Pinterest.  To follow my "Cards and Paper" pin board, click here.  If you'd like to check out all my Pinterest boards, you can follow me and click here.   I found some cards with this design I believe was stamped on: (This one by Mary Fish)

I really like this design and so I decided to try and do something similar on my laptop.  I just used Microsoft Publisher and made the fonts the sizes I needed to create my wedding cake.  But then, I thought to myself, "Self...what else will you put on this card design?"  So I looked to Pinterest for more inspiration and found this card by Lady J Creations:

So I combined the two designs and gave it my own twist and this is what I came up with:

I think it turned out fairly well!  I just used my triangle-shaped punch for the triangles so they'd be uniform.  If you like this card, you are welcome to the "word cake" portion of the design.  I've created a printable file you can use here on Google docs.  Enjoy!  I'd love to see your wedding card designs. Feel free to share.  I love the inspiration!

Unique Holiday Letters--2013 Year In Review

I am really excited to show off my holiday letter design for this year!  A popular option for doing a holiday letter is the "Year in Review" style.  Rather than sending a traditional letter out with your holiday cards this year, why not try something a bit different?  The Year in Review style can include whatever you'd like to share with your family and friends that occurred in the last year.  I'll elaborate below.  But first, check out my finished product:

 

Of course, I have edited out my address for the Internet, but this is what I'll be sending my family and friends this year!  For anyone who is interested, I used Microsoft Publisher to create my letter. There are lots of things you could include if you choose to do a Year in Review style holiday letter.  First, allow me to share what I have included on mine.

 

• Title Section:  Our last name, the year and "Year In Review".
• A section sharing how long my husband and I have been together along with how long we have been married.
• Our new address.  We moved this year so I included our new address for folks to make a note of.
• Zachary Facts:  Our 2 year old son is doing lots of new, fun things and so I included a section just for him.  It's a bit hard to make out in the above photo but I included his "Sayings" and "Do you speak Zachanese?"  We joke that this is a new language.  Also, I put down a couple of his favorite activities.  For each of the children, I included their exact age in December, like down to the decimal.  I thought this was cute and informative!
• Our other children's section begins with their age and then what they have been up to this year as well as their accomplishments.
• Next I put in a section for Bill (my husband) and myself.  I just wrote down the highlights of what we've been doing all year and what is on our Christmas lists.  Note that all Bill wants is world peace.  Tee-hee.
• Thomas is our cat and our only pet right now.  I wrote his age in both cat and human years. (There are charts online that help you figure out how old your cat is in human years-It's not 7:1).  I also guesstimated how many times we snuggled him this year which is of course directly proportional to his number of purrs!  (Really I have no idea!)
• I decided to share some of our family's goals for 2014 in the next section.  We've already begun working on some of them!
• I shared 3 things I think are pretty darn cool about the holidays: love those Starbucks holiday drinks!
• Lastly, I wanted to include a sincere holiday wish for our family and friends.

 



So that's my Year in Review.  What would you include on yours?  I have some additional ideas!  Feel free to use as many or few as you want! 

 

• If you welcomed a new little one this year, you could also include all her baby stats: height, weight, time of birth, birthday, etc.
• Also, if you have little ones, something else you could include is their favorite foods.
• You could include a section entitled, "Things We Loved This Year..."  Perhaps that's some current event or something you did as a family
• In the same vein, how about a section called, "Awesome Things We Did This Year..."  Include all the wonderful things your family did or accomplished.
• For each family member you might want to put some info on their hobbies and favorite things.
• Family Favorites may be a section you want to include.  Things like favorite family meals, vacations, and past times make good sections.
• Ask the kids why they  each like the holidays and then record their quotes in a different section.  Another option would be to include why you and your spouse/partner like the holidays.
• Items on the kids' Christmas or Hanukkah lists.
• A section I thought about including was one called "Random Numbers".  Then I would put down the numbers and the meanings behind each.  For example,
• 1 - # of college degrees obtained this year
• 3 - # of college students in our household
• 1234 - street number for our new house
• 8 - # of minutes it takes to drive to Super Target now that we've moved
• 22 - # of times Katie has been to Super Target since we moved in August

You get the idea.  Be creative!  Have a sense of humor and you can create a unique holiday letter this year!  Have fun!

Personalized Banner for Family Command Center

 

 

I've been working hard on creating a family command center (See this post for more info).  I've put together this banner with our last name on it for the top of the family command center. 

 

 

 

I really love how it turned out!  It was very simple to make as well.  I picked up some chipboard pennant shapes, covered them with pretty scrapbook paper, inked the edges of the pennant, added some punched black cardstock and the chipboard letters, and then set the holes with silver eyelets, strung the pennants on some black cord, and voila: pretty personalized banner!

 

Also, at either end of the banner is a chipboard fleur-de-lis that I painted white and stamped with a black damask design.  I really like the way this turned out.

 

 

I am still feverishly working on projects for the command center, but promise to post photos when it's done! 

 



Family Rules Sign for Command Center

 

So I have been trying to put together a family command center on one of the walls in our dining room.  I have a bunch of ideas for the command center and have been compiling them for a while and made a list of projects I need to complete before I put them all together on the dining room wall.  You've seen the family command centers, right?  They're all over Pinterest and help the family stay organized.  In case you have yet to lay your peepers on one of these bad boys, allow me to show you a few examples:

 

 

This one can be found over at theyellowcapecod.com.  I love the way they used canvas tote bags labeled with each family members' name hung from hooks to corral loose odds and ends found around the home.  I am using this idea in my command center as well.  I'll be utilizing the totes for separating mail too: the hubs mail in his bag, my stepson's mail in his, etc.

 

 

This chic little number is courtesy of thehandmadehome.net.  The magnetic circular containers are super cute and the use of a rail system like ones found at Pottery Barn and Ikea is really popular for command centers right now. 

 

 

I am really loving the color scheme for this family command center.  Everything coordinates so well, I could stare at this picture for quite a while.  I thought about the possibility of creating my command center in coordinating colors but ended up doing a multitude of colors so my command center is in effect much like my personality, colorful and a little bit all over the place! 

 

 

This is one of my favorite command centers that I pinned for inspiration via One Creative Housewife.  Everything about this center I love: the organization, the mixture of boards and baskets, the printables at the very top; everything is awesome! 

 

So, now that I've shown you what I am aiming for, allow me to share one of my mini-projects with you.  I have seen some command centers that included a copy of the family's rules.  Now, we, as a family, aren't really hell-bent on a lot of strict rules, so I made ours more like "rules to live by".  Your rules could look completely different from mine but here is what I included on our list:

 Be polite, kind, & uplifting

 

Clean up after yourself

 

Support your siblings & share in their joy

 

Be grateful & count your blessings

 

Keep your promises

 

Word hard & do your best

 

Sing silly, dance crazy, hug lots, snuggle often

 

Apologize sincerely & forgive freely

 

Be respectful & dependable

 

Always tell the truth

 

Laugh out loud & have fun

 

Try new things & be creative

 

Listen to your parents

 

Help others

 

Make the right choice

 

Be courageous

 

Believe in yourself

 

 Practice patience

 

Remember you are loved

 

I purchased a 10x20" scrapbooking canvas at Meijer in their craft department a while back.  To make my pretty family rules sign, I typed up my rules, all in different fonts, and all on a separate page of my Word document.  This way, I could use a different sheet of scrapbook paper for every rule to create the hodge podge of designs I have for the rules sign.  

 

I busted out my scrapbook paper and cut 12x12" sheets to 8.5x11' for the printer.  I have a Kodak Hero 9.1 inkjet printer so I had to just place my scrapbook paper upside down in the paper tray in order for it to print on the correct side.  Printers differ in the way they feed paper so if you do a sign, be sure to check this first.

 

After my rules were printed, I cut them into strips.  I just left about a quarter inch above and below the font; I just eyeballed this.  By the way, my font size differed depending on what font I was using anywhere from 50pt to 120pt.  

 

After I had my strips, I just used glue-dots to adhere them to the canvas.  I did this, layering them as I went, a little bit of the top of the next one over the bottom of the last one.  I liked the look that layering gave me.  Because my rules were printed in landscape orientation, they were all 11" long.  I just folded over a half inch on either side of my 10" wide canvas and adhered it with a glue dot.

 

I finished off by using Scotch tape on the back of the canvas to strengthen the bonding of paper to canvas.  The finished product looks like this:

 

Ta da!

 

Feel free to use as many of my rules or as few as you want! Thanks for letting me share!  What would your family rules consist of? 

 



It's Wedding Season!!! Photo Ideas

Wedding season is upon us and no one loves a wedding more than me!  I love everything about weddings.  The dress, the flowers, the cake, being with all your friends and family; it's all awesome!  But one of the things I love the most about weddings is the photography.  When you get married, it's a great opportunity to show your creative side with photos.  We had a blast taking our wedding photos and it showed; they turned out great!  So, if you need some inspiration for your wedding photos, I thought I'd give you some ideas.  All of the following photos were found on Pinterest. 

 

This is a fabulous idea for a photo!  I love the contrast of the black and white photo with the color of the bouquets! 

 

This is an interesting shot!  I also love that the groomsmen are wearing tennis shoes.

 

 

This is so creative! 

 

 

Cute!  Love how the focus is on the wedding party.

 

 

This photo was texted to the groom right before the wedding.  Awesome!

 

 

Ask your photographer to do this! It's a long exposure shot with sparklers. All they had to do was stand there very still and someone else ran around them with a sparkler. It's like a fairy tale!

 

 

What a great idea!  Take a shot of the happy couple through the ring!

 

 

Look for ways to make your wedding photos unique.  Argyle socks on the groomsmen, fabulous!

 

 

Love the attitude in this one!

 

 

Absolutely gorgeous!  Look for backgrounds for your photos that will really make them pop.

 

 

Another great background.  The rain in the back makes this photo.

 

 

So darn funny!  Don't forget to add some humor to your wedding day photo session.

 

 

Props can be used to create unique photos. 

 

 

Mr. & Mrs.  On a sandy beach, beautiful!

 

 

Have your guests create a heart with the wedding couple in the middle. 

 

 

Are you inspired?  I hope so.  When you go to take your wedding photos, just remember to be unique and most of all, have fun.  As long as you're having a good time, it will show in your photos.  And remember, it's your special day, so don't be afraid to ask your photographer to work with you on the shots you want.  Our photographer was great with this.  She totally let us express our creativity.  In case you are wondering, our photographer was Ashley Athey of Ashley Athey Photography and she's from the Bloomington, Indiana area.  But for all my Hoosier friends, she will travel around Indiana.  So find a photographer that will work with you the way Ashley worked with us.  For my the first blog post with our wedding photos, click Here, and for the second post with our wedding photos, click Here !  So what will you do to make your wedding photos unique?